Blog Three

It feels like a huge feat to have completed my IDRP project. During the process of completing my IDRP project I faced a number of personal challenges which has made this feel like an even bigger accomplishment. 

While many people who carried out their IDRP projects did so as part of a placement or part of a team, mine was carried out primarily independently. My supervisor, Dr Vandra Harris, allowed me a lot of freedom which was at times intimidating but also engendered a certain degree of confidence. Being able to overcome obstacles along the way, be they personal and internal or with regard to the project has built my confidence and provided me an opportunity to show myself that I am capable of carrying out such a large body of work.

My research also left me with some unanswered questions.

My reflective research report examined the application of kaupapa Maori, a research methodology created by Maori, for Maori. When I began to discuss researching this topic with friends from Aotearoa/New Zealand and read the work of Maori academics and became unsure whether it was even appropriate for me to be delving into this area. As a pakeha, I have been afforded privileges many Maori simply have not. I felt a level of trepidation when I began this research, asking myself questions like: is it my place to undertake this research? Linda Tuhiwai Smith (2012) offers two opposing perspectives on this issue: no, kaupapa Maori is by Maori, for Maori but also, yes, but not on their own. This lead to me feeling uncertainty and uneasiness.

This uncertainty was not necessarily a bad thing. It was through this uncertainty that I began to critically reflect on what I was doing and also how I was doing it. I was questioning my role in systems and questioning my power and privilege. 

It was through uncertainty that I came to reflect on a number of issues, be it how I move forward in my research or how to appropriately and sensitively engage with frameworks and methodologies that were created as a reaction to Pakeha and Western culture, a culture I am part of as a Pakeha woman.

Although I do not have answers to all of these questions, I feel this experience, of researching kaupapa Māori as part of my IDRP, has made me more comfortable asking them. As a pakeha person, I carry privilege and this is something I shouldn’t ignore. I now feel more comfortable being uncomfortable and putting myself in situations and discussions I would not have thought I could have been in before.

In order to engage in international development or humanitarian practice, there is going to be many times that I am not within spaces I am used to. I feel as though the achievements I have completed during this IDRP project have both build confidence and humbled me. I believe the skills I have developed through this process will enable me to mitigate reproducing Western hegemony in my practice and will enable me to make a positive contribution to the fields of international development and humanitarian practice.

Smith, L.T., 2012. Decolonizing methodologies: Research and indigenous peoples. Zed Books Ltd.